Marshall &Kay Family  Histories

 

Yvonne's Dad and Church

(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)

This information can also be found under 

John B.KAY 

 

 

First About My Dad's Family
My Aunt Janet who was one of my father's older sisters, was not really very active in the church. She's the one I went to stay with in Nevada. She married a Mormon, but neither one was very active. His oldest sister, my Aunt Katie, married the Scotsman that played the bagpipes at our wedding, was not a member. So she gradually became inactive also. So the only two that were really active, was my father, (John B. Kay) and his brother, (Jim Kay.) 

 

Going Back to Church

This happened after dad and I were married. And I think my parents wanted to be active, and every so often they would try to go to church, but it wasn't anything consistent. And it was mainly because my father continued to have the Word of Wisdom problems, with smoking and alcohol. What I heard, was that it came about from some of the people he met at Bank of America, because they were important people. And he was put in a position where he felt he needed to impress certain people, and join in certain things they asked him to do. So as I understand that's when the drinking started. And it was a very addictive thing, and so was the smoking of course. But he had tried different times throughout his life to quit and leave it alone, but just hadn't been successful. It had been very difficult. (My mother picked up social drinking too, but never smoked.) So it wasn't that he didn't want to quit, I knew he wanted to, he just couldn't. 

 

So this was just after our first child was born, I remember his bishop was visiting in the Palo Alto ward on a Sunday, and happened to stop me after church. He asked me out of the blue, how I would feel if I called your father on a stake mission? What do you think he would say? And I looked at the bishop and I said I have no idea. I really, have no idea. And the other thing I finally told the bishop was that, if that's the inspiration you've gotten, go with the inspiration, because I wouldn't dare say. So he did, he went with his inspiration. My father was probably forty four at the time. So the bishop went to visit with him, and the next thing I heard ,was that my father had accepted the call. I believe it was the bishop that called me and told me, that he had accepted the call, and I was so surprised. I don't remember how the Word of Wisdom was handled, but I do remember that my father indicated to me that he never smoked, and he never drank after that. After he accepted the call he never ever touched another one. And the Lord knew that's what it would take. And nobody else knew, but the Lord knew. And so my father remained very active in church after that. He was in the bishopric when he died. And mother also remained very active. 

 

After my father passed away she didn't go back to her ward. She said it was just too painful so she used to come down to our house every weekend and go to church with us. So I guess that's that story. He really loved being a stake missionary. And I remember sometimes we would visit him during the time he was a stake missionary, and he would get so excited telling us about visiting with this person and visiting with that person. Telling us how he would explain the gospel to them. He would be very excited. It was a two year stake mission call, from 1955 - 1957. He was instrumental in seeing people baptized into the church. 

 

 

Yvonne's Dad Passing Away

My father was around fifty six. He had been diagnosed with heart problems for some time before he died. He was taking medication and so forth. In those days they didn't really have any way to look into the heart and the vessels or anything like that. They had x-rays and EKG's. The way we think of it now, it was very primitive. He had a heart attack and they took him to the hospital and treated him. They put him on what they called blood thinners, in those days they didn't have a whole lot else to do. They assumed it was a clot that was causing the problem. The medications they had to put him on made him feel really tired. I remember that. They changed his ability to be able to taste things very well, or smell things. It was kind of a hard time for him. He was really tired a lot after that. I think he was probably diagnosed about four of five years from the first heart attack, before he died. He may have had other smaller heart attacks, I don't know. But he did go into the hospital every so often with some chest pain or to be worked up because he wasn't feeling good. But of course it didn't change the situation around. 

 

One day when he was at work, he had to go up a pretty steep flight of steps to get to his office. And I guess he was going up the steps and the individual that was with him, said that he just suddenly crumpled. It was just very, very sudden. And he didn't have any time at all, he died immediately. He was gone. And this was at his work in San Francisco, and mother was also working (but they were living in Menlo Park). But they contacted dad first from the hospital, and I don't think they even told dad that my father was already gone. But they wanted him to tell my mother. They didn't want to say anything to her on the phone. So I can remember he drove her up, but they went in her car and I followed them in my car up to the city, San Francisco, to the hospital. Of course after she got to the hospital they had to tell her what happened. I can remember that was a real shock to her, I remember that very well. Dad drove her back home also, then he stayed with her a while. I think I may have stayed there until some of the family started calling and started coming to be with her and stuff. That was a hard time for mother. That was on February 8th 1968.