Marshall &Kay Family  Histories

B. VAUGHN MARSHALL

1998

 Too Hard

            Vaughn continued to work, probably too hard, in the yard. When I mentioned the work being too hard it would annoy him, so most of the time I didn’t say too much. In a way the work outside was a help because he really enjoyed it. There was just too much of it. He was looking so pale and still losing weight and decided to go back to the doctor again. He mentioned the irregular pulse but didn’t dwell on the back pain he was still having. His blood work indicated that he had a low hematecrit (not enough red blood cells), so the doctor did some tests to see if he was bleeding anywhere or had leukemia. All the tests came back negative. He was advised to increase his iron intake, which he did, but it didn’t make a lot of difference. I remember feeling so frustrated that the doctor was not being more aggressive especially because Vaughn was not a “ pushy” person. He didn’t want to “tell the doctor how to do his work.”

            In January of 1998 I began to feel that I should ask for a release as president of Relief Society. I felt more and more that it would be a relief to Vaughn to have me less involved in so many things. There were other considerations that made me feel that also. When I went in prayer to Heavenly Father and asked. I received a strong answer that it was time to be released. That finally occurred in March. In the meantime it was getting to be a very eventful year. Our grandson (our son’s son) had been getting ready for his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He received his call to San Salvador the last of February. Our oldest daughter and her husband came up the following week for his farewell talk  

The Car

            We had been making plans to drive to Utah in April when our youngest daughters baby was due but found that the Blazer (car) wouldn’t make the trip very well. It was time for a new car. Vaughn and I did a lot of research this time before we went out looking. As a result, Vaughn found just what he wanted for the right price the first hour we were out. It turned out to be the same day we were planning to go to Maple Valley. Our son wanted his dad(Vaughn) to be there when he (Our Son) ordained his son to the office of Elder in the priesthood. (And of course Vaughn wanted to be there too) The salesman managed to get it all cleared for us so that we drove it there just in time.

          About this time Vaughn ordered a new computer. It had all sorts of good stuff in it and he was really looking forward to using it. He spent a lot of time that year though trying to get it to work properly. It was one of the greatest frustrations for him all that year. The company he ordered it from never did respond to any of his calls, e-mails or letters so he ended up having to figure out the problems himself and try to repair them. He would get one thing working and something else would quit. He had to replace the power unit and CD Rom. There were other things that needed fixing too – don’t remember how many. After I inherited it I found out that the hard drive had been bad all along too. Anyway, it was a major frustration for him.

Trips

            We left for Utah April 7th 1998, and stayed with our second daughter that first night. We had a good visit with them and arrived at our youngest daughters place the next day. That was the day grandson  was to report to the mission home and we were all able to go with him. We listened to the talks and sang with the missionaries and then it was time to say good-by. It was hard for us all but Vaughn was especially touched. When he hugged our grandson he held tight and couldn’t keep the tears back. That was the only time I saw him so emotional with one of his grandchildren. I remember wondering at the time if Vaughn knew it might be a final good-by, but then I pushed the thought away. It turned out to be a last good-by though.  Our grandson says he knows that grandpa has been with him many times since then.

            Vaughn spent some time the next few days in the Family History Center and then on Easter Sunday our youngest daughter’s third child, was born. While we stayed at her place to help, Vaughn was able to spend some more time at the History Center. He had a strange experience one late afternoon before he returned to our daughters place. He had gone across the street to a restaurant to get a bite to eat. He said while he was there a young black woman came up to him and asked if he could give her a ride home. She said that she had been watching him and thought he would help her out. He said it startled him and he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know her and was a little concerned that she might have a friend in the background that would cause him a problem. He wasn’t sure what her intentions really were. Normally he said he would be more cautious but he seemed to feel that he should help her. So off they went. When they got to the correct address, she asked him if he would wait while she got some of her things and then, would he take her to the place she really needed to be? Again, he was concerned that he might be putting himself in some danger but was prompted to help her. He drove her to her final destination and dropped her off there. He said she seemed very grateful and said good-by. When he related this story to me he wondered why it had happened. He said it was strange but it seemed something he was supposed to do. He wondered if he would ever find out why. He never did. I’m not sure why I feel I should relate this story except that for Vaughn it was a spiritual experience and I just feel like I’m supposed to include it in his history.

     We stayed at our youngest daughters place for the baby’s blessing because she wanted her dad to be a part of it. Then we left a few days later and spent some time with our second daughter’s family. Vaughn enjoyed some rock hunting while we were there and enjoyed having his granddaughter (their daughter) come along with us.

 We arrived back home in time to get ready for a special day of honor that the nursing home gave for Vaughn’s mother. Elaine Marshall Murray and Tom Murray came up for it. And some of the grandkids and their children, it was a nice gathering.

Iowa

 Our third daughter had a baby, girl on the 28th of May and we left for Iowa the middle of June to be with her for a while. That was an interesting trip for Vaughn. Our daughter tried to take us to as many places as she could because we hadn’t seen that area before. Vaughn enjoyed rock hunting again. He also had a very interesting time at the Muscatine library where he found information on one of the lines he had been trying to research. It wasn’t until later that I realized how important the information was that he had found.  Our daughter and her husband had arranged to have the baby blessed while we were there so that Vaughn could be a part of that too. This was a trip that Vaughn enjoyed very much in spite of the heat. When we left he felt comfortable that our daughter was happy and safe.

Home

At home I continued to be concerned about Vaughn. For some time I had noticed that he had difficulty breathing when going up the stairs. He was having more problems trying to sleep and was often very irritable. It was plain that he was getting more tired. Sometimes he was so tired he just couldn’t eat and that was happening too often. He made an appointment to see the doctor again but that wouldn’t happen until November. In late September he had a very difficult night. He began sweating profusely. I was asleep and he didn’t tell me about it till the next morning. I encouraged him to see the doctor soon and not wait till November. He kind of said he’d think about it. In my prayers I began thanking My Father in Heaven for each day He gave us together.

We began working at our Family History Center on Friday afternoons. Vaughn was very interested in helping out with genealogy and he was so good with computers. The last couple of months we worked in the temple together, he would let me take turns driving so that he would be less tired at the temple. I was grateful that he let me do that but I knew that he had to be really tired in order to be able to let me do that.

 Vaughn began working hard on the Church finances. He had always kept them up to date but he seemed to be putting in a lot of extra time to get them “in order”. He told me that he didn’t want to be rushed when the bishop needed them for tithing settlement in December. I remember that just before Thanksgiving he was so pleased that he had gotten everything in order and he could relax a bit about them. When the new financial clerk was asked to work after Vaughn was gone, he made the comment to me that he hadn’t had to do much of anything before tithing settlement because Vaughn had done it all. He said it was as if Vaughn was getting ready to turn the job over to someone else. He asked me if I didn’t think that Vaughn knew that He wouldn’t be here?

 That Thanksgiving was a busy time again at our home. Elaine Marshall Murray (Vaughn’s sister) and Tom Murray had come up to visit their son and wife and their children. And they all came over for Thanksgiving and brought a friend. Our son, his wife, their son, and our fourth daughter, her husband and their girls were here also. It was a busy noisy time. Vaughn and I took Elaine and Tom to the History Center on Friday and Saturday following Thanksgiving. All the family continued to stay pretty much at our house visiting. I remember it as being a noisy, busy time. Sometime later (I don’t remember how long) I wrote a description of my memory of the evening of November 28th---   the evening that Vaughn died. It’s in my computer and on a floppy disk for anyone who wants to read it. I don’t want to include it here. I’ll just mention that Vaughn had another very severe attack of pain in his back and died of a massive heart attack. Although the paramedics were able to get his heart beating with medication, his spirit had left and he was gone. They took him to the hospital where the doctor confirmed that he was gone and told us that when the medication wore off his heart would stop again. The attack involved the whole anterior portion of his heart.

I know that the Lord did not take him before his time. I also know, that he is busy doing the Lord’s work. I know that he has been allowed to continue to help different members of his family also. They have all shared stories with me. He remained faithful to the end of his time here and I know he remains faithful yet to all that the Lord calls him to do.

                                           EPILOGUE

                         Some thoughts from his family:

 My father was not just a good man, he was a great man. He was not just a good father, he was a great father. I could never feel ungrateful to my Heavenly Father because I know just how blessed I was to have him as my father. I hope that I can live my life half as well as he lived his.

My father --- a wonderful energetic person--- lots of fun and teasing. My father was a big part of my life. An example to me. He taught me by example to stick through the thick and thin. An example of love, kindness and yes on occasion patience, for me! He was so much and is so much. I will keep his special spirit within my heart. I love my father.

My dad – One of the most wonderful men in the world! Dad is a thinker, a peacemaker, the man that keeps things in order. He is understanding and caring of other’s needs. I wouldn’t wish for another man to be my father. I could go forever about all his good traits.

Dear Dad,     This letter is long past due. I’ve wanted to tell you for quite some time now how much I love you. I have warm and happy memories of my childhood because of you. I have a father that would laugh and play. We enjoyed a few good walks in the mountains together. You have so much energy and love for the outdoors. I loved the different gardens you’ve had. There is a list of things you’ve done that I admire but mostly I have to thank you for never ever making me feel bad about the mistakes I’ve made. You’re gone now and I’m going to miss you a lot. I’m so proud and grateful that you were my father. Thank you for your patience.

I was always Vaughn’s favorite daughter-in-law. The fact that I was his only daughter-in-law gave me the honor by default. When I was pregnant with Vaughn’s first grandchild, he always introduced my stomach as his first grandson. Being the dutiful daughter-in-law I am, I not only blessed him with an heir to the Marshall name but a spare. I could talk with Vaughn, usually easier than with my own father. He and his wisdom helped me through many difficult times. He was one of the most Christlike men I have ever met. Miss you Vaughn!

Growing up we had wonderful vacations with uncle Vaughn. He was always fun to be with; kind and loving. He was and is one of my heroes. We used to love to hear his tales of living on the ice and enjoyed the spectacular pictures he would share with us.

Thinking of uncle Vaughn brings a feeling of happiness. From memories of camping and water-skiing to backyard Easter egg hunts. I have great memories of sitting around the kitchen table peeling his wonderful peaches, laughing and eating as many peaches as we peeled. Mostly I remember his kindness, listening ear and patience. I will never forget what a great example he set being a loving to his mother.

                            MEMORY      

                                      The light of kindness glowed in his eye,

                                       Laughter and love graced his smile,

                                    His warmth brings a vision of days gone by,

                                       With cheerful hugs for a child,

                                         Rich feelings of a joyful home,

                                      His presence was always a happy place,

                                    And when on my mind his memory roams,

                                        Comfort shines from his face,

                                    Adventure was his soul’s delight,

                                       Nature was always his friend,

                                    Overflowing with zest for life,

                                       With love his arms still extend.

 If the worth of a person is measured by how he is remembered when he is gone then Vaughn is surely one of the richest of men.